# Unwanted advances from a female coworker



## Batteryguy556 (Feb 17, 2022)

I'll probably sound like a pussy for posting this but here goes 
How would you kindly tell a female coworker that her advances aren't wanted without her getting mad? This lady is like 40 and keeps touching my arms, chest, and one time my butt. Now I don't mind a bit of attention from the opposite sex but I'm really not into her. What do?


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## Johnyj7657 (Feb 18, 2022)

It's best to try and let her down gently.

Mention your in a committed relationship even if it's made up see if she gets the hint.
If you have to continue working with them it's best not to hurt their feelings.

Plus she could be nuts.


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## commiecorvus (Feb 18, 2022)

Polite and consistent.
The same way you would want to be let down if you developed a crush on someone who wasn't interested in you.
"I'm flattered but absolutely no."
Some women just like to flirt for the sake of the flirt and have no interest in taking it any further.
I wish there was a clear rule book on that though.


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## Tacopie (Feb 18, 2022)

6 inch rule lady…..back off!


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## Hardlinesmaster (Feb 18, 2022)

Would you ever ask out a coworker?
					

Is it weird to ask out a fellow team member? There's this adorable chick who works in fitting room that I'm interested in. Don't want to be a creep and definitely don't want to make it awkward. Is there ever an appropriate opportunity to do this?




					www.thebreakroom.org


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## Rarejem (Feb 18, 2022)

Unwanted touches? Nope.  Talk to HR.  She may not be aware that it makes others uncomfortable, but she will.


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## Captain Orca (Feb 18, 2022)

"Hands off please, we have work to do."


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## Ashfromoldsite (Feb 18, 2022)

Tacopie said:


> 6 inch rule lady…..back off!


6 foot. Lol


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## Ringwraith917 (Feb 18, 2022)

This clearly violates the sexual harassment policy and she should be fired.


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## Amanda Cantwell (Feb 18, 2022)

Batteryguy556 said:


> I'll probably sound like a pussy for posting this


You’re absolutely not. Unwanted touches are not ok, ever, regardless of what anyones gender is. Talk to HR.


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## Planosss enraged (Feb 18, 2022)

Loop in a leader/HR asap. If you confront her directly, there’s a chance she might claim harassment by you as retaliation… play it say and leave a gap..


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## NKG (Feb 18, 2022)

Batteryguy556 said:


> I'll probably sound like a pussy for posting this but here goes
> How would you kindly tell a female coworker that her advances aren't wanted without her getting mad? This lady is like 40 and keeps touching my arms, chest, and one time my butt. Now I don't mind a bit of attention from the opposite sex but I'm really not into her. What do?


This is not you then ?
Youre not harassing women into dates?
This must be embarrassing 😳


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## Hardlinesmaster (Feb 18, 2022)

Maybe the op got rejected?


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## IWishIKnew (Feb 18, 2022)

You need to be direct about it. Your coworker is out of line in touching you without permission and you have every right to be direct in telling her to stop. If you want to be polite at first, go ahead and add a "please", but you're under no obligation to do so.

"Stop touching me."

If she keeps it up, then bring it to HR (or bring it to them, anyway), but you don't need to sugarcoat this at all, really. She's the one being inappropriate. Being direct and firm in your response is not out of line.

Ask A Manager deals with questions like this somewhat frequently. The one from this week (number 3 at the link) is not dissimilar to your situation and covers it pretty well.


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## Fluttervale (Feb 19, 2022)

You first tell HR about the previous touching.  Then the next time she touches you, tell her “Do not ever touch me again” and go to HR.  If it happens a third time push HR until she is fired.  It’s not OK just because you’re a he and she’s a she.  A man would have been fired the first time it happened, she should too.


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## Planosss enraged (Feb 19, 2022)

Fluttervale said:


> You first tell HR about the previous touching.  Then the next time she touches you, tell her “Do not ever touch me again” and go to HR.  If it happens a third time push HR until she is fired.  It’s not OK just because you’re a he and she’s a she.  A man would have been fired the first time it happened, she should too.


I thought this was chick on chick action, I am out 🙄


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## commiecorvus (Feb 19, 2022)

Planosss enraged said:


> I thought this was chick on chick action, I am out 🙄



*That's really not as funny as you think it is in a serious thread that could amount to sexual **harassment**.*
*Read the room.*


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## RWTM (Feb 19, 2022)

My rule of thumb… HR if not a 10/10


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## RWTM (Feb 19, 2022)

commiecorvus said:


> *That's really not as funny as you think it is in a serious thread that could amount to sexual **harassment**.*
> *Read the room.*


*If target is so serious about it how come they don’t implement better sexual harassment guidelines and maybe TM’s Wouldn’t have to resort to this website just to be misinformed. *


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## commiecorvus (Feb 19, 2022)

Kostin said:


> *If target is so serious about it how come they don’t implement better sexual harassment guidelines and maybe TM’s wouldn’t have to resort to this website just to be misinformed. *




I haven't worked for Target in over eight years.
Spot has rules and guidelines but they are designed to keep them from getting sued not to protect the employees.
People come here for advice because the one thing Target is absolutely the worst at is communicating with their employees.


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## StaticSun (Feb 20, 2022)

Hi! 

Please contact your direct supervisor, local HR, or other store leader.


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