# How Do You Feel?



## PogDog (Jul 17, 2022)

Lately, I've been feeling burnt-out, over-worked, under-appreciated and just generally bad, while at work. I've equated (many times) that I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship that I just can't leave.

I don't hate what I do. I lead a small team and I enjoy their company and work ethic. Working with them makes work tolerable. They give me 100%, no doubt. So, every time I ask for one more thing, it comes with a hefty amount of guilt on my part. 

However, I don't feel inspired or supported by my leads. There's a general feeling of anxiety with the amount of work that needs to be accomplished every day (my department is getting bombarded with freight). I also get very little feedback or acknowledgement of what is being done. I'm in my head -a lot- so I'm just assuming I'm not doing enough or am just barely getting things done (even though I know I'm actually one of the few leads that are ahead most of the time).
I'm pretty well self-managed, and have told my ETL I don't need a lot of over management... but, there's barely any interaction outside of a daily hello. Some days, I'm swamped and could use the additional support.

I want to leave, but I also don't. It's a weird and perplexing situation.

I feel a bit alone here. Am I? If you've experienced this and were able to make positive adjustments, what did you do?


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## MrT (Jul 17, 2022)

Have felt and feel this way again.


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## Hardlinesmaster (Jul 17, 2022)

PogDog said:


> Lately, I've been feeling burnt-out, over-worked, under-appreciated and just generally bad, while at work. I've equated (many times) that I feel like I'm in an abusive relationship that I just can't leave.
> 
> I don't hate what I do. I lead a small team and I enjoy their company and work ethic. Working with them makes work tolerable. They give me 100%, no doubt. So, every time I ask for one more thing, it comes with a hefty amount of guilt on my part.
> 
> ...


You are not alone.


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## Jayunderscore (Jul 17, 2022)

I'm right there with you. Currently I'm getting ready to move departments (Closing to Specialty) and while I'm happy to be done with the impossible task of closing, I'm inheriting a mess of a new division that needs to be rebuilt from the ground up. I fear it may be the final nail in my coffin.


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## Planosss enraged (Jul 17, 2022)

I love my current assignment, I feel like I’ve found something that I can do and do well for a while 🥰


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## jenna (Jul 17, 2022)

I keep plugging along on auto-pilot.

I have specific reasons to stay, and so - I stay.
-


My workload is also insane.  I keep my standards high, and do the best I can, everyday.


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## lucidtm (Jul 18, 2022)

My body hurts from working so much. I'd have done this as a TM as well, it's just in my nature to push myself to always work hard. We have a lot of TM's slacking and having to constantly coach them is mentally exhausting. Especially when you know they're not bad employees, they're just frustrated with the way things are and the lack of initiative given by the company to do a good job. 

I love my position, can put up with the physical aches and pains, and enjoy the store even with all of it's DC dump attributes.... but the mental exhaustion is taking a major toll. It's very easy to see why TM's and leadership are leaving in droves. If our store had a terrible SD/HR/ETLs I'd be out as well.


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## FlowTeamChick (Jul 18, 2022)

You say you've told your ETL that you don't need a lot of oversight, and so it sounds like they don't micro-manage you. That's good!
But it can go too far in the other direction too. What happens when you actively seek out help? Or do you just assume that someone will notice you need help and offer it?
At my last review, my TL told me that she appreciated how self-reliant I am and how I just plow through, get my truck pushed and other work load done, making decisions about what must be done that day and what can wait. But she also acknowledged that she (and the other leads who run truck when she's off) just sort of leave me on my own, trusting that I'll get my work done. She advised me to reach out for help if I needed it. Not easy for me to do, and sometimes I find myself regretting the *help* I get. But. It's better than being overwhelmed too much of the time.


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## bymoonlight (Jul 18, 2022)

I am a front end team member and my TLs trust that things will get done in their absence if I am working. They know that I will relay their messages and ensure the front is left cleaner than I got it, in addition to getting through any team trainings that need to get done and regular closing duties as that is my regular shift. 

I'm exhausted. I don't get paid enough for the workload that I take on and I certainly don't feel appreciated enough to continue doing it. However, I'm not someone who can simply stop doing something out of spite because I'm feeling bad and certainly not when I know it not only reflects on the company, but on my ability to be relied upon when it's needed. 

A few of my coworkers are what make the job enjoyable and I do like being able to help guests problem-solve their various issues, especially when they're grateful for it. However, the amount of days that I want to call in or just not show up is more than it was this time a year ago and that was in the middle of covid, so I'm not really sure things are going in a positive direction.

It's a difficult and frustrating position to be in and unfortunately I haven't found any solutions that don't come with their own stack of problems.


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## MrT (Jul 18, 2022)

bymoonlight said:


> I am a front end team member and my TLs trust that things will get done in their absence if I am working. They know that I will relay their messages and ensure the front is left cleaner than I got it, in addition to getting through any team trainings that need to get done and regular closing duties as that is my regular shift.
> 
> I'm exhausted. I don't get paid enough for the workload that I take on and I certainly don't feel appreciated enough to continue doing it. However, I'm not someone who can simply stop doing something out of spite because I'm feeling bad and certainly not when I know it not only reflects on the company, but on my ability to be relied upon when it's needed.
> 
> ...


There is no real easy answer here tbh.  You've done the job and seems like you've done it well.  They are going to expect that job.  Do you want to move up in spot?  If you do keep on keeping on and hope for the best.  If you close a lot make sure the closing TL understands what you do.  If you do not, switch departments or change your shift time if possible.


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## seasonaldude (Jul 18, 2022)

I got thrown into the largest floorpad and highest revenue-generating area of A&A for my store less than a month ago. It's all on me who has no experience in style. There's an overwhelming amount of shit to do. Everyday. Guests are freaking animals with how they shop in girls clothes. ANIMALS. 

But, I'm good. I know not everything is going to get done, so I just do what I can and go home.


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## happygoth (Jul 19, 2022)

seasonaldude said:


> I got thrown into the largest floorpad and highest revenue-generating area of A&A for my store less than a month ago. It's all on me who has no experience in style. There's an overwhelming amount of shit to do. Everyday. Guests are freaking animals with how they shop in girls clothes. ANIMALS.
> 
> But, I'm good. I know not everything is going to get done, so I just do what I can and go home.


It's so bad. Guests are animals with how the shop in all areas of Style. Intimates is awful, shoes awful, Infants awful. Basics in all departments are horrific. Activewear horrific. In my store Girls gets doubly hit because it is a dumping ground for guests on the way to the checklanes. Abandons everywhere. 

Mens, which used to be a pretty chill area, has been getting hit hard for months now. The tables are always bad, and even the hanging racks are just looking like a mishmash. Any headway I make trying to get things right is gone by my next shift.

Plus the reshop. SO MUCH RESHOP. They cut our closers from three down to two right after the holidays and it looks like we are never getting that third closer back, which means that a good portion of Style will look like ass every morning. I've had to learn to abandon my standards and let shit go. Leadership certainly has, and stressing about it is only hurting myself. So like you, I do what I can and go home. Tomorrow's another day. 🤷‍♂️


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## seasonaldude (Jul 19, 2022)

happygoth said:


> In my store Girls gets doubly hit because it is a dumping ground for guests on the way to the checklanes. Abandons everywhere



I feel this so hard. My Art Class anchor table is right in front of SCO. It's a never ending battle keeping it clean. For some reason thieves love dropping their empty packages all over kid's basics. Full abandoned shopping carts are also omnipresent in basics.


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